My name is Cooper. My hands don't work and I talk about myself, and personal stuff, far too much. I'm basically an intellectually disabled puppy. There's nothing wrong with me. I don't track my tag, I'm terrible at responding to messages, and I'm prone to attack when provoked. Don't poke the bear.
Horse trainer. Rock climbing instructor/backpacking trip head honcho/woofer (wilderness first responder). Master of all things adventure related. No ego involved at all. Terrible and occasionally sacrilegious Irish catholic. Certified MRA hunter: Saving non-cis people. Burning fedoras. The family business.
Oh fuck, guys. I’m reading 50 Shades of Grey.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. IS THIS HUMAN. IS THIS ENGLISH.
This book actually involves more physical and psychological abuse than the series it was based on, Twilight. The only difference is people are under the assumption that because they’re in a kinky relationship, that it’s okay (in opposition to Twilight, in which it was just blatant abuse).
"Kinky relationships" are based off of trust, which is absolutely necessary for them to function. Ever heard of a safe word? Yes? Why do you think they exist? You’re giving your body over to someone to play with, with the understanding that you can trust them to stop when you are no longer okay with it.
These kinds of interactions cannot exist without trust, and serve (in my opinion) to strengthen the trust and communication within relationships.
ABUSE is about pure destruction, and control. In a BDSM situation, the person who is being submissive (or the bottom) is the one who has true control. This is because they hold the power of the magical word that stops everything. In an abusive relationship, the one inflicting the torture is the one in control.
These two things are DIAMETRICALLY OPPOSED TO EACH OTHER.
The relationships in Twilight and Grey are both abusive relationships. Calling something kinky doesn’t make it so. This was clearly written by someone who isn’t aware of how these kinds of interactions are supposed to work.