Andrew Scott touching things

Alex wants to burn Hipster douches taint with a cigarette. Meredyth wants to brand it. I decided to...

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:45:21 -0400

Alex wants to burn Hipster douches taint with a cigarette.

Meredyth wants to brand it.

I decided to brand it with a mustache.

It’s been a good night.

I hate Americans who complain about the USA not being in Eurovision… like… let someone...

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:58:46 -0400

I hate Americans who complain about the USA not being in Eurovision… like… let someone have something to themselves for once. You cant butt into everything, Americuhhhh

MACEDONIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:55:47 -0400

MACEDONIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Things I’ve learned from watching Eurovision (for the five seconds I’ve been watching...

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:54:25 -0400

Things I’ve learned from watching Eurovision (for the five seconds I’ve been watching it):

Eurovision is crack.

That is all.

I am drunk on Moet and PBR and apparently it’s sexy times. But not drunk enough to not be...

Sat, 18 May 2013 03:39:39 -0400

I am drunk on Moet and PBR and apparently it’s sexy times.

But not drunk enough to not be able to give consent.

Because consent is important.

This has been a feminist rant?

Drove out to fairfax at 1 am to see hipster douche. He should be the one driving out to see me....

Sat, 18 May 2013 01:57:34 -0400

Drove out to fairfax at 1 am to see hipster douche. He should be the one driving out to see me. I’m just sayin.

SO MANY FUCKING CROWLEY FEELS FROM THE SEASON FINALE. I cannot right now I have lost my ability to...

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:03:44 -0400

SO MANY FUCKING CROWLEY FEELS FROM THE SEASON FINALE.

I cannot right now I have lost my ability to can.

So… yeah. Basically.

Love is sharing a bowl of Trix cereal at one in the morning because you ran out of milk. Love is...

Thu, 16 May 2013 01:20:43 -0400

Love is sharing a bowl of Trix cereal at one in the morning because you ran out of milk.

Love is reading Infinite Jest to each other and laughing at the ridiculous number of characters in it.

Love is painful and sometimes you’re going to hate each other for a little while, no matter how hard you fight it.

Love is ridiculous and if you let yourself get swept away they’ll find you washed up downstream, blue and bloated.

Love is knowing that you’re both terrible at it, but you keep trying.

niallhortonhearsawho: a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately...

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:09:09 -0400

niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

If they cancel Hannibal I’m gonna cry a lot and then be really mad. That is all.

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:32:48 -0400

If they cancel Hannibal I’m gonna cry a lot and then be really mad.

That is all.

I call this one “A study in contrast”

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:18:08 -0400

I call this one “A study in contrast”

I cannot I have lost the ability to can

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:54:52 -0400

I cannot I have lost the ability to can

Oh hai. Didn’t see you there. Excuse me while I asdfghjkl.

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:52:57 -0400

Oh hai. Didn’t see you there. Excuse me while I asdfghjkl.

Passed genetics. Never have to take it again. Yesssssssssssssss. Celebrating by drinking some PBR...

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:45:22 -0400

Passed genetics. Never have to take it again. Yesssssssssssssss. Celebrating by drinking some PBR while hipster douche reads Infinite Jest to me. It’s a good night.

Whenever people say “describe yourself in five words or less” my answer has always been...

Wed, 15 May 2013 03:56:00 -0400

Whenever people say “describe yourself in five words or less” my answer has always been “Morally questionable and fiscally irresponsible”

My school wants a copy of my W2 from 2011 and I’m like “bitches I have no idea where...

Wed, 15 May 2013 03:40:18 -0400

My school wants a copy of my W2 from 2011 and I’m like “bitches I have no idea where that shit is I’m fiscally irresponsible my parents won’t even let me have my social security card cause I lost it once”.

louderdecibelle: koizumim: really though if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to...

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:47:08 -0400

louderdecibelle:

koizumim:

really though

if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function

why arent they that distracting to lesbians

and at that point

why isnt the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes

#spoilers: its because its bullshit

I don’t know about you guys, but the skinny jeans penis bulge is super distracting to me and if I have to strap my tits down for the sake of decency they should have to duct tape that situation or wear a cup or something idk

I’ve said it like a thousand times before and I’ll say it again: Hannibal is an amazing...

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:44:38 -0400

I’ve said it like a thousand times before and I’ll say it again: Hannibal is an amazing show and you should be watching it (especially since it’s on the bubble right now as to whether or not it will get renewed). Watch it. Do it. Do itttttttt.

My genetics final was 26 pages long. 26. PAGES. LONG. I can’t even right now I might be dying...

Mon, 13 May 2013 12:08:47 -0400

My genetics final was 26 pages long. 26. PAGES. LONG.

I can’t even right now I might be dying and he stole all the blankets. Since thursday night I’ve only slept 9 hours, I was up for… 24 hours straight studying, I was so sleep deprived and caffeinated I had to pull onto the side of the freeway on my way to the test to puke. And then I get there and think “maybe it won’t be so bad. Maybe I over prepared”. I did not over prepare. I want to sleep 5ever but for some god damn reason I have to go to motherfucking work this afternoon to be surrounded by 100 screaming children. And I feel like I might be having a heart attack from all the red bull.

But tbh squeezing the booty and cuddles make at least some of it better. And he stayed up all last night with me helping me study, even though he knows absolutely nothing about genetics and it was probably the most boring night ever.

Rant over.

Help me.

Mon, 13 May 2013 05:44:16 -0400

Help me.